I stopped believing in myself.
Life gets to a witch; it sucker punches and kicks, screaming and biting to drag you down. It tries to hold onto you as tightly as a straight jacket, but even then you can get out of its desperate hugs. And this year is no exception; 2020 has been a year of turmoil, doubts, and so many emotions.
So, how exactly did this happen? Is that what you're wondering? I did at first too.
The magick that I used to feel every day in my life, that spark in my spirit that gave me hope, it went out and I had let it. I began to listen to the voices of doubt in my life, to believe that I was small, so what could I ever give to the world, to the Gods, the Universe that someone else couldn't already give? What made me "special"? And, at the time, all I could come up with is "nothing." What a sad time, indeed. But every one who goes through this, every witch and normie can make it out.
So, my magick stopped working.
~Did I do something about it???~
And the answer is no, for a long time I sat in the murky waters and just accepted it. Not only to possibly gain the love of family, but because I thought it was what I deserved. I built a cage using the sticks and daggers people gave me and stuck into me, telling myself if I wasn't normal then I was just a monster. Well, it's a good thing that the wolf is a kindred spirit to the witch.
Inspiration can hit one like a glee of "Eureka!" and there are times that it needs you to motivate it, to get out and just do that work out you've been pushing off, to put those stones out in the moonlight, to do something. For me, while sitting in the dark, I didn't see a light; I FELT it. And this may not be the same for you, and that's just as okay, everyone's path is different. But if you resonate with what I say, then I really hope you can take what information you can from it.
I began to feel a stirring, a call, a beckon. Like a bear waking from its wintery slumber, I will wake, I will find my spark to reignite my flame. And if I can do it, so can YOU. If you are stuck in the same ice cube as I have been, set the flame under you, and come back to life with me.
How should YOU do that??
Great question!
I don't know, honestly. The best way that I set the flame was to find what had meaning to my soul, what it was that I truly wanted to get out if I didn't have the time to live and get it out. The Universe brought me into fruition for a reason, just as it did the same to YOU, never believe the opposite! It's just been finding the way we are supposed to go through the muck of what everyone else tells us what it is we should do and be. IGNORE THEM the very best you can! Unless you trust that person with your whole being, don't listen to the world tell you that you need to work a 9 to 5 job or work 40 hours weeks. Don't listen to the world when they say magick isn't real and that how the world is now must be how it has to be.
You are your own magick.
Nurture yourself, cuddle the closest thing to a cloud you can get! Drink your favorite tea/coffee, take a nap after work, spend an extra five minutes in the shower just standing under the shower jets. Be gentle with yourself, be caring and loving to yourself, because no one else in the world will do it the way you know you need it. If I can do this for myself, then YOU can too.
Blessed be
